We sat down with Carole, one of our dedicated Foster Carers about her experience fostering with Safehouses. After years of working in education and witnessing the difference a loving and nurturing home could have on children in care, Carole was inspired to become a Foster Carer. She shared her thoughts on the application process, describing it as thorough yet reassuring. Carole spoke warmly about the support she received from our team and highlighted the value of our training. Carole also spoke about how Fostering enriched her family life, reshaping her family dynamics and creating new bonds that continue to grow.
Carole’s story beautifully illustrates the transformative power of fostering and the profound impact a safe and nurturing home can have on a child. Her family welcomed two foster children into their lives, and as Carole speaks about them, her face lights up with joy. It is clear from how she talks about them that they have truly become part of her family.
Why did you choose to foster with us?
A friend was a Foster Carer with Safehouses.
Can you describe your journey with Safehouses Fostering, how did you find the application and assessment process?
Right from the word go, from ringing to enquire, they were really helpful. They were open to answering all my questions. During the Form F assessment period, they would look at every aspect of your life. It honestly felt like therapy, having to relive everything you’d been through. The whole process was intense but straightforward – especially with the level of support I received throughout.
Was there anything about the onboarding process you found helpful or challenging?
No. I’m not sure if it was easy because I’m a single carer, but the whole process was quite straightforward.
What kind of support did you receive from Safehouses Fostering?
There is always somebody at the end of the phone should you need help/advice.
My Supervising Social Worker and Support Worker contacted me regularly to see how I was doing and check in and make sure everything was ok.
How have the training sessions and workshops helped you manage challenging situations?
I prefer face-to-face training; I don’t like online training. I have to say, the two kids I have are close to perfect, I honestly don’t have any issues. And a lot of the training is about what to do if there are issues, and I honestly don’t have any so far. Touch wood.
What inspired you to become a Foster Carer?
I had worked in education for many years, and I had seen the difference good Foster Carers had on children in care.
What impact has Fostering had on you, your family and the children that you’ve looked after?
My foster children have fitted into our family perfectly. I couldn’t say one negative thing; Fostering has had only a positive impact on our family. I do need to plan more now than I did as my children are grown up and independent. The children have had countless new experiences and embrace everything that we do.
How have your birth children responded emotionally to welcoming foster children into your home?
Quite well really, both my children were adults when I became a Foster Carer, so it was fine. Also, it works well with my grandchildren because they’re of similar ages so they can do things together on the holidays.
My children weren’t involved in the initial decision to foster, but I did discuss it with them. My youngest daughter also did the Skills to Foster course with me.
What strategies do you use to ensure your birth children feel heard during the fostering process?
Open communication was key. I kept them informed about what was going on and what to expect.
How has fostering changed your family’s dynamic and values?
I don’t think it has changed. The children have come and just fit into our family – we’re all just one big family.
What were your initial expectations/opinions of fostering, and how have these changed over time?
I didn’t have any expectations; I just thought I would give it a go. It is very different from raising your own children though as you have to be aware that there is a team around your children and the decision making doesn’t solely lie with you like it does with your own children.
What was your first fostering experience like and what did you learn from it?
I did some short breaks before I got the children I have now. I learnt that you need to be aware of all your policies and procedures in order to keep yourself and your family safe.
How do you manage moments when progress feels slow or there are setbacks?
I honestly haven’t had any. I would say the only setback is contacting the children’s Social Worker for things like letter of authorization and stuff like that – Safehouses Social Workers are great though.
How do you take care of your own emotional wellbeing while caring for children who may have experienced trauma?
I seem to have a very different fostering journey to other carers I speak to. There has been the odd little thing – my foster child’s mum announced she was pregnant and having to explain that to my foster child, why the baby is with their mum and they’re not. But I think being open and having conversations all the time is key. I have had to flip the way I work around the kids – now my free time is during school hours so I can be present with them when they’re here.
What has been the most rewarding part and/or your favourite moment of being a Foster Carer?
For me it was taking my foster children on their first holiday to Greece. Watching their faces at the airport and on the plane and just seeing them enjoy new experiences which was magical.
What do you wish you knew before you started your journey to becoming a Foster Carer? Or what advice would you give to someone considering becoming a Foster Carer?
I would say to be prepared for the unexpected. Breathe and take a step back before you deal with tricky situations and try to build a good relationship with birth parents.
What support systems or resources have you found the most valuable?
I think having the Foster Carer who the children were with previously has become a friend to me. She has been a Foster Carer for a long time. Having someone with all that experience at the end of the phone has been really valuable to me.
What advice would you give to a newly approved Foster Carer?
Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Have you experienced any moments, big or small, that reminded you why you chose to foster?
The first Christmas they were here. I got one of the kids a Nintendo Switch and while we were eating Christmas dinner, they said, this was the best Christmas ever! Also, taking them away on holiday for the first time – enjoying the smiles on their faces. It’s really all the first. Sharing those moments with them.
Is there anything else you’d like to share about the foster care journey/experience?
I wish I had done this years ago.
